I’ve taken in all the news I can stand this week and determined that there isn’t a single soul I’d want to have dinner with, except you dear blogger friends:

If this Texas couple invited you for dinner, would you dare accept?

That’s right, they live with a buffalo. Or I guess it’s technically a bison, but it’s a 2100 ton behemoth that’s as big as a car. Owner and former rodeo cowboy RC says about the pet called “Wildthing”:

“One time, he picked up a couch and moved it. I told my wife she probably had it in the wrong place anyway! I would rather have him be in here than my kid most of the time.”

Does give new meaning to the old tune “Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam…?” Or where crazy people live?

Meet the newest Bravo housewives, the ones of Beverly Hills:

OK, I love that first one Taylor Armstrong, who says she wants to grab words from the air and stuff them back into her mouth. That is, if all the plastic surgery she’s had will even allow her to unhinge her jaw.

My personal favorite is the train wreck called Camille Grammer, aka, recently dumped wife of Kelsey Grammer. Camille, shares approximately a dozen homes with her ex, has 4 nannies, and exudes insecurity despite the generous California divorce laws that should land her about 40 million bucks:

“God, this is going to sound so obnoxious, but Kelsey and I have been flying private for years. Until recently, we’re taking more commercial. So, you know. We try to be green.”

You’re right – that does sounds obnoxious! I think I’ll pass on dinner with these gals.

The new Speaker of the House:

Um, no on the dinner invite, because I don’t want to eat carrot soup and drink a Slurpee. And I don’t want to hear your plan on how Jesus is going to save America and how you and your fellow colonial garbed followers are trying to privatize the Constitution.

Let’s end with a little send up of the real Housewives by our good friends at Saturday Night Live:

Now there’s a group of ladies I could have some martini’s with!

This weekend hang with a good friend, nosh on some good food, and kick back with a very GENEROUS cocktail. And no large animals, please.

©2012 The Members Lounge. All Rights Reserved.

Shadow, schmadow groundhog. What, another 6 weeks of winter? You have freaking fur, right? I saw a robin that day, and he said spring is on the way. And he only has little wings, you furry wuss.

Look who’s courting climbing to bed with Wall Street Bankers on Capitol Hill this week:

Luckily, the banking community was spared the ugly beta carotene explosion that has scarred Congressman John Boehner for life, turning him a permanent shade of orange. Paging George Hamilton for an intervention!

Dear Katie Holmes,

Apparently you confused your events. You see, it was the Sundance Film Festival you were attending, not the Contradance Festival. And hey, get over here while I take a pair of scissors to those bangs!

In the I’ll never get country music department:

The Zac Brown Band has some catchy lyrics to a song they call “Chicken Fried”:

“I thank God for my life, And for the stars and stripes, May freedom forever fly, let it ring, Salute the ones who died, And the ones that give their lives, so we don`t have to sacrifice, All the things we love, Like our chicken fried…”

Sigh. My brain just exploded on that one.

An old junior high diary (not mine!) brings back memories:

Oh God kid, that’s my dream list too. Big giant heart over the i in WISH.

Have a great weekend people!

©2012 The Members Lounge. All Rights Reserved.