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It’s the end of summer and who doesn’t want to toss the beach ball a few more times? Let’s play in the surf, meander through the sand and see who really has balls this week, OK?

Actual Tweets from Sarah Palin, defending the shrew called called Dr. Laura:

Dr.Laura:don’t retreat…reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence “isn’t American,not fair”)

Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice,America!

Here’s the interesting part. When she speaks, it really sounds like incomprehensible real time tweeting.

Watch Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd give that media whore Michaele Salahi a smackdown. I wish Whoopi Goldberg had really punched her out, she is obnoxious. Be sure NOT to buy the book she was shilling, Cirque Du Salahi. She’s a real life train wreck.

Let’s check out father of the year, who steals his kid’s dessert for the mere thrill of getting You Tube hits:

Let’s end with Jon Stewart this week, rendering an excellent impression of the lunatic known as Glenn Beck.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
News Corp. Gives Money to Republicans
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Toss those balls and fire up the blender, it’s Friday!

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I was reading an opinion piece the other day about vacations. It’s August, and everyone is trying to make the most of the waning summer season. A beach day, a harbor cruise, a hike in the woods, all sound pretty inviting and relaxing, right?

But what if you can’t disconnect from technology like the unfortunate writer? What if you were on Cadillac mountain in Maine’s Acadia National Park and you needed to Tweet your status? And it looked something like this:

Imagine sweating bullets because you are unable to enjoy your leisurely lunch atop Big Sur?

And does anyone get the whole gaming thing on Facebook? I always see this Farmville crap on my feed, and it’s obvious a scary number of people are obsessed with it. I finally figured out what the concept was when I saw a piece on the CBS Sunday Morning show. Apparently, Farmville can even give the people a sense of self-worth as they harvest crops and do chores around the fake farm. But how must they feel when they have to shovel virtual crap out of the barn, too?

And Mother of God, what if something like this really happened?

Here’s the deal people. Do yourself a favor and decompress from the world while you are vacationing. Use your roaming charges wisely and have a good time, and please DO NOT invite anyone to play Farmville or God forbid, Bejeweled Blitz.

You can be assured your relationship status will remain stable if you connect to the person you’re with, and not your Crackberry.

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So this past weekend, Leo and I had decided we would try and grill pizza. As in, put the dough on the actual grate and see what we come up with! Scary? Crap, I now am officially addicted to crack grilled pizza.

I did a little research and scanned a few websites on the best way to prepare dough and cook the pizza on the grill. Here are a few tips if you decide to try it:

  • First of all, you can buy dough. The farmstand near my house makes it fresh daily, it’s good and there’s no need to go crazy on that.
  • Secondly, roll the dough out thinly. Cut it in half if you feel the round or square of dough is unwieldy. Or if you have had a few glasses of wine like me and think it’s better to handle two smaller pizzas not to screw up the whole process.
  • Place the dough on the piece of parchment sprinkled with a BUNCH of cornmeal. The cornmeal will prevent the dough from sticking.
  • Heat the grill to 500 degrees. At this point flip the dough off the parchment onto the grill. It will firm up right away. Leave on one side for 3 minutes, and pull off with tongs. Place your toppings on the finished side, and return to grill to cook for an additional 3 minutes. Alternatively, cook both sides of dough and finish pizza under the broiler.
  • Lie around in a stupor until bedtime. Awaken and think of new ways to cook pizza like grilled fruit and chicken sausage and pass out again.

I used Emeril Lagasse’s recipe from the Food Network site to make this white pizza, and I added prosciutto, because hey, who doesn’t want more salt and water weight at the end of a long week?

Trust me, there will not be a single morsel left if you make this! The proof is on my hips this morning.

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Did you ever have a week where you just wanted to flip out? Admit it, it’s everyone’s fantasy to tell a boss off once in their career, like the unfortunate co-worker I had, who had a tirade in the office and then stomped back to his cubicle for a jar of oregano before leaving the building for good. (true.)

Let’s check of some of this weeks major freak outs and freaky people, shall we?

Clearly, Steven Slater’s way to leave a job is better than my ex-colleague’s. Who doesn’t dream they can slide down the emergency chute with a couple of beers?

Seriously, I can’t believe he was double-fisted coming down that slide, determined to crack those brewski’s before tossing 28 years of service in the toilet. Watch Jimmy Fallon sing his ode to the new American Folk Hero.

(PS, I almost forgot. As an extra added bonus, watch the men in the audience clap. Not ONE has an iota of rhythm. It’s truly hilarious.)

Chicken Nugget Lady had a meltdown of epic proportions New Years Day because Mickey D’s was still serving the breakfast menu. Lady, let me clue you in if you are trying to cure a hangover:

Several Hash Browns,
One Gigantic Fountain Coke;

Is the exact recipe to fix you up. I know, I’m Irish, my body matter consists of 25% starch, equivalent to the sacred white potato. Now get a grip.

While in New York this past week, Meg and her sister bumped into this guy at the hotel:

Whereupon they immediately wanted to do this:

Let me make a plea to the surgeons of Beverly Hills:

DO NOT TOUCH BRUCE JENNER’S FACE EVER AGAIN, OR IT WILL SHATTER INTO A MILLION SAD PIECES.

And no, you cannot put Humpty back together again.

Click here to see this woman’s words of brilliance and her secret to handling cold weather. I love her. (P.S. on this one, you need to access Facebook. Sorry about that.)

OK, let’s stop freaking and start drinking! Have a good weekend, peeps!

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More on BlogHer’10

So I recapped some of the better conference stuff for you Tuesday, but here are some of the *other cool* things Ain’t Miss Beehavin’ and I did in the city:

A little sightseeing!

You can see it all from the double decker bus!

If you love Art Deco and Beaux Art architecture, this is the city for you!

We decided to stop off in Battery Park to walk around and check out the Statue of Liberty across the river at Ellis Island.

Naturally we found a lovely outdoor bar, where our fantastic bartender Claire bought us a Bloody Mary, many extra olives and heavy on the vodka, thank you very much Claire. She was awesome!

Every neighborhood has it’s own personality!

And yes, this guy is wearing a Prada suit cleaning the windows to the Prada store. The tour guide pointed out he missed a spot.

And if someone can figure out what this sign means, email me!

OK, here’s some of the stuff I didn’t want to write about BlogHer the other day, because I felt somewhat unsettled by the experience, but if you ever think about attending, here are some things to know:

Although there were several sessions I really liked, and I got to meet some of my favorite bloggers, the conference could have been more diverse on subject matter. Many of the sessions were dominated by mommy bloggers. While many of their blogs are worthy and interesting, (see my blogroll!) I would have loved to see more sessions slanted to those of us who are 40+ with subjects like “Hey I Have No Kids And Still Have a Life”! Or seriously, how about something on menopause? And as Zadge said, more photography and food!

An overwhelming number of people were tied to technology, and only had eyes for their Blackberry’s and IPAD’s. There was no eye contact, no smile or a nice to meet you. Um, don’t you want to hear the actual speaker instead of twittering constantly? Perhaps network and find out about who you are sitting next to? If you attend, you would seriously want to make sure you know another person that is also going to the conference, it makes for a much better experience. When I read Aunt Becky of Mommy Wants Vodka the other day, she said she had experienced the same thing last year, which I thought was kind of interesting as she is a popular blogger with a good sized audience. And she said it was because she wasn’t connecting with anyone. Sooo not good.

A lot of people were entranced with the blog swag, which consisted of countless toys, and were very “mom-centric”. People were tying up entire elevators with empty boxes so they could ship home a pack of Play-Doh and a Mr. Potato Head, amongst a pile of other crap that should have been recycled to poor inner city kids.

There were TONS of private parties. Most of the action took place off site and exclusively for select groups of bloggers. (which I totally understand because sponsors are interested in them and what they do). Even though there were giant ballrooms at the hotel, not all bloggers were invited to the parties. This personally made me feel like I was in junior high. I DO not have any trouble whatsoever socializing and walked into a party anyway because no one was checking. The venue could have easily accommodated hundreds more people, so there there was no reason to exclude anyone at all.

Finally – the Hilton New York. A sucky outdated hotel and guests with extreme elevator rage. And to Dr. Leah who ran up the back of my legs with her rolling luggage, I’m so glad you got busted for pimping your blog in a session and getting totally shot down, because as the Zadge would say, you are a BEEYOTCH.

Would I go back again? Maybe someday if they streamline the sessions and put some attention into more blogger diversity, and hold the conference at a more modern hotel that can comfortably hold the large blogger crowd. I do admire the concept of BlogHer; but I think it has some work to achieve being an inclusive conference and span the spectrum of women; not just those those of a certain age and childbearing status.

In the meantime, I think the Zadge’s idea of Drinkfest ‘11 in Denver is a totally fantastic idea! I’m ready!

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Hanging with the Girls

So when we last left The Members Lounge, the girls were getting ready to meet the girls in New York.

Ain’t Miss Beehavin and I started in Boston, and boarded the Acela with pre-mixed Bloody Mary’s for the journey. Because that’s just the kind of thing you do when attending an event like this.

We landed at the Hilton, we ran into Bossy and her delightful son, the Far Flung Correspondent the hotel bar. He was a young man that could make a mother proud, and oh my gosh, not to sound all Mrs. Robinson, but HELLO, EXTREME CUTENESS Bossy’s Son.

We did some socializing Thursday evening at one of the large parties, and met the really funny Coastal Chick who turned out to be a fellow Bostonian! Hey Kathryn!

We made it to bed at the reasonable time of midnight. Friday dawned bright and early and we were off to our first stop, the Today Show. So yeah, we decided to skip breakfast and head to Rockefeller Plaza to see Train. It’s a good way to kick start your day.

Back at the conference for the morning sessions, we hooked up with our cool blogger friend the Zadge, and I have to say, meeting her was the best part of the conference!

We all attended some interesting sessions starting with Stoke Your Creativity. Rita Arens of Surrender Dorothy spoke, along with authors Carleen Brice and Jan Sokoloff Harness. They talked about not self doubting yourself and that your blog connects you with other people that like you, and vice versa. Apparently a lot of us have negative voices in our heads that we are always trying to chase away, so it’s was interesting hear how people deal with that. Yes, that would be cocktails for me.

Later that day, the Mouthy Housewives, Kelcey, Marinka and Wendi along with Aunt Becky of Mommy Wants Vodka talked about giving advice in the blogsphere, which was completely hilarious. Can I just tell you how much I love Aunt Becky? Please go directly to her blog after you read mine, she is completely delightful, refreshing and down to earth.

Saturday evening brought us together for the Gala event, where we could get our body parts painted by Karen of Chookooloonks:

Here’s the Zadge with her beloved dog Shone’s catchphrase, PLAY STRONG! Shone just finished his radiation treatments so we hope he will indeed to continue to play strong for his fabulous owner!

I went a little smaller with my painted logo, because clearly, I do not have the buff arms of the Zadge.

We also got to meet the Zadge's mom, the charming Moomskers! (In case you didn't know Moomskers, your daughter is awesome!)

I also saw this person in the house:

I am fairly certain Pioneer Woman left this message on the BlogHer wall:

I signed her name via Photoshop; I hope I don’t get arrested for graffiti crimes.

The next day brought us the humor session with Lizz Winstead of the Daily Show, and Jessica of Bernthis.

Seriously Jessica, I hope I didn’t crush you to death with the giant Boston bear hug of death.

Finally the conference ends:

I *DO* have some other thoughts on the conference but will save it for another post. One thing I would say if I could stage a conference, I would make sure all my readers could attend BLOGMEG or whatever I would call it. It’s good to be back home!

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