Fixer Upper. Kinda Sorta.

Hi everyone! Meg has been enjoying a spectacular summer in New England logging many beach hours, walking and hiking with the family, and hunting for the forever house.

Did she mention hunting for the forever house? Hunt as in finding a needle in a HAYSTACK? Meg certainly forgot what is was like to go house hunting in New England. She got caught up in those first world problems of her former community in Texas, where not having a double oven or a secondary laundry room for your children were reason to shoot down a house deal. Bwahahaha! How Meg wishes those were her quandaries these days!

Would you like to take a real estate tour with me? Come, let Meg show you some of the things she has seen over the past several months:

kitchen1

Please note the absolute sh**storm of clutter. Could there possibly be more magnets on the fridge? Could we sign these people up for an episode of Hoarders?

tostitos

And from the SAME house, I guess we could call this the living room/wet bar area, where I imagine many a shaken, not stirred martini is made. Cause I would need like 5 martinis a day to deal with this set-up.

Let’s look at another fine property:

beanie_babies

This is what you call a DIY floor, clearly oriented (at least in my mind) in the wrong direction. And I did hear the tiny screams of hundreds of Beanie Babies from that cabinet, begging to be set free so they could breathe again. I am still crushed I could not help them.

Here’s the kitchen, same property:

orange_cabinets

You go figure this one out. I just saw every leftover in the Home Depot bargain bin was used to advantage, the advantage being it must have cost NOTHING.

Want to see the retro house?

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There was more of that tile, too. Much, much, more.

Here’s the story, of a lovely lady, she was bringing up three girls of her own:

wall_oven2

The Brady Bunch kitchen!

There have been many interesting open houses, like the one where there was a full catering kitchen in the basement, which what the HELL unless you cater food? Do I become Ina Garten with that deal? How about the one with the ladder into the laundry area of the basement? Do I lower the clothes down with a pulley like I’m a wench in medieval England?

Meg’s favorite was the house with the singer/agent. He came complete with guitar and as we toured the house, we could hear the groovy sounds of “Jessie’s Girl” coming from the back deck. We quickly bolted as Rick Springfield wanna be was chasing us down the path asking for feedback on the house and attempting another guitar riff.

The family has considered several fixer uppers, and rest assured, nothing goes as easily as Chip and Joanna’s renovations on “Fixer Upper“. Several properties have fallen through, and Meg certainly knows her way around an inspection report, if nothing else. Wish her the best in finding a new home, and maybe if she’s really lucky the “Property Brothers” will land on her potential doorstep!


Where Meg Channels a Davey and Goliath Episode

Meg has moved back from Texas to Boston! It’s a long story, but she is happy to be back with her family and living near the ocean. This move has also precipitated a newfound longing to write on her blog again! Lucky you guys!

Meg and her husband found an adorable rental house, which includes a chicken coop in the backyard. Currently she only knows one chicken by name, the delightful Sylvia. The other members of the gang include a peacock and peahen pair named George and Martha, who like to irritate handsome dog Jack by displaying their magnificent feathers and disobeying his considerable herding skills.

jack_chickens

Rest assured Meg does not take care of this flock, she is just the lucky recipient of their eggs and entertainment value, where entertainment equals staring at them while she drinks wine on the patio. But one fine day, the hens were were out free ranging in the field, and a straggler did not make it back to the coop by dusk. Concerned, Meg headed out back to open the coop and shoo it in, whereupon she got her boot stuck in a wood pallet and she could not pull it out. It was in fact, a Davey and Goliath moment, where one needs serious rescuing before they break their ankle and the mountain patrol has to come in with a cask of vodka brandy to calm the nerves.


Meg remembers feeling Catholic guilt watching a Lutheran show.

Luckily for Meg, her husband was looking out the picture window, concerned laughing his ass off and came out to pull her boot out of the slat. She regaled her husband for his heroics, declaring it was like when”Goliath when rescued Davey from the dangerous rocket launching pad by pulling his foot out of the metal grate“.*

Meg’s husband laughed, and then she became obsessed with finding that episode; could it really have been a figment of her imagination? Maybe she was thinking of the time Davey got trapped in a mine or fell overboard in the lake? Either way, she was a winner that day getting rescued, and most of all, for being back in New England.

(*Meg discovered it was Davey’s sister that got all tangled up with a rocket. She knew her imagination wasn’t playing tricks on her.)

Davey_sister
Meg would not have thought the spineless Jane had enough nerve to get into trouble.