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Meg is going back to her homeland this week, and it’s a good thing. She’s had it with dead flower pots, burned out grass, a yard that will never ever have a garden with flowers, and a dog that’s decided to use her upstairs as it’s personal bathroom. Most of all she’s had it with the Texas twang; she desperately needs to hear someone just say “what the f**k“, as only someone from Boston can say it.

Here’s what she expects to see and do when she lands:

She is heading over to the Seaport District and revel in the waterfront view from her hotel room!

Then the couple plans to get an infusion of Italian food, the kind that WILL NOT taste like CARDBOARD.

She heading here for a night of comedy with her sister!

And maybe a little dessert? A cannoli, perhaps?

Then the family is Cape Cod bound, and can likely be found on this beach, where they will rendezvous with Mom and all of her friends.

These two handsome devils will be hanging out with their Auntie Meg!

Meg’s sister Ain’t Miss Beehavin has sent along the 5 day forecast for Boston, which includes, sun, dry weather, and cocktails!

Meg wishes her friends a fine end to summer, and she hopes you are all enjoying the bounties of August, wherever you live! She will catch up with you in a few weeks, where she will segue into her next phase: the Betty (Ford) and Jenny (Craig) programs.

It Really *IS* Dickensian.

Of or reminiscent of the novels of Charles Dickens, esp. in suggesting the poor social conditions or comically repulsivecharacters.

Is it really possible Charles Dickens could have foreshadowed Anthony Weiner’s public demise a century and a half ago? And could there not be a more appropriate adjective than Dickensian?

Just when you thought poor Huma Abedin had put herself through enough therapy, her husband pulls a Carlos Danger and appears to have never stopped snapping photos of his d**k and sexting his way across the United States.

Here are a few of Weiner’s creative notes on his Twitter nom de plume:

I know. GAH!

Maybe his Twitter handle could have been “Fagin” from Oliver Twist? Perfect literary metaphor!

Does it make you wonder how he had time to run for MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY? I mean, imagine him governing a city, a city with the world’s most famous phallic symbol?

The New Yorker and I had this spot on, apparently.

My fake husband Jon Stewart has been on vacation this summer, but his colleague John Oliver has been doing a standup job over at the Daily Show:

And Kristen Chenoweth did a brilliant take on her role in Wicked, repurposing the lyrics of “Popular”, to perfectly suit the situation:

Well, at least New Yorker’s are going to get a discount on their gym memberships this month:

Over at Slate, you can pop your name into the Carlos Danger name generator. And so help me, if I catch my husband using the Twitter handle Paco Calamity, he is so dead.