Where the mission equals finding a bathing suit that looks good. Need I say more about the need for secrecy?
Meg bought a variety of suits on-line; and tried them on behind several locked doors and a soundproof room so no one could hear the sound of her wailing.
First of all, don’t you wish for a more simple outfit to wear while sunning and swimming? Say, the one you wore when you were 4 years old?
Oh to be that age again and throw on a cotton onesie sunsuit!
Women of a certain age, and particularly those of us that are post menopausal, need SOOO much help. There is tummy control, love handle control, cleavage control,and butt control. There are halters, x-back, t-back, bandeaus and cami’s and on and on. There is the slender suit, the miracle suit, the tankini, the swim dress, the swim mini, the Grecian one-shoulder, and the tunic.
Where to begin?
Well, Meg began with Lands End for practicality. She is not one to bejewel herself at the beach, nor show all of her assets, which would include, as her mother would say “Kitty Murphy“. Not does she want to cover her self up like she’s 80 years old. She just wants to strike a balance of looking her age and being comfortable enough to walk in the water without anyone pointing.
The second option she went with was Miracle Suit, because one can only hope, right?
Honest to God, every time Meg checked her email and saw the tracking numbers for her packages, she broke out into a mixture of flop sweat and excitement. Would the suits perform as their description indicated? Would 10 pounds miraculously be shaved from her torso? Would her sporty look be appropriate? Are you on the edge of your seats with anticipation?
Drum roll, please?
Alas, the Miracle Suit tankini tops were a bust. And by bust, I mean no support AT ALL. There was some underwire, but the simple curve of wire did not hold up a 38D breast. The flimsy matte jersey (what the hell Miracle Suit?) in no way shape or form was able to handle the heft of this pair of ladies. It would have been a total winner if the cup had better construction. On the other hand, the zipped tank suit will be great for doing laps in the pool, so she’s keeping that one.
Out of the 10 mixed variety of suits Meg tried, she ended up with 3 that were acceptable:
The zip is the Miracle Suit, and the other 2 are Lands End. That tankini top is the MOST comfortable and flattering top she has ever worn. It had a ton of support and came to the right length, it stayed tight when swimming and covered the poochy parts perfectly. Of course, they are all sold out on-line that this point or she would have bought them out just to have in the closet. The swim mini was also the perfect length, not too long or short, and you could even pop into a beach side store and look spiffy in it.
Well, Meg has a start, because she plans on living in the pool this summer. She still has her work cut out for her, and plans on going to an actual store to continue the mission for the perfect cup and blend of spandex. Should you hear the breezes carry the sounds of “OH NO” sometime this weekend, you can be sure that voice is coming from the Dallas-Fort Worth suburbs.
Wish Meg continued luck, won’t you?