Meg and Piper from Her Ace in the Hole have decided to write some Bachelorette recaps as warranted for Season 8 of the Bachelorette. It’s a secret vice I know a few other bloggers share (Ashleigh, I’m looking at YOU) and someone has do the dirty work.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Emily, I want to get to know you.
So said some dork last night on the Bachelorette.
I can tell this show is going to test my patience, but no one ever said watching a train wreck was easy. Meg tried her best not to throw rotten eggs at the screen Monday night, as Emily (aka Scarlett O’Hara) made her teeth itch with each and every moment of screen time she had.
First, some poor sap (Ryan) thought he was going to a winery or for a private plane ride. Little did he know he was going to be baking cookies for an entire soccer team. Apparently Scarlett had the bright idea to put Ryan thorough the “snack mom” test, to see if he had what it takes to bored out of your freakin’ mind at a kids sporting event. What stuck out so egregiously in the kitchen was not Scarlett’s apron, but that she let that nitwit use a WHISK to stir up chocolate chip cookie batter. Anyone? Bueller? I think we all know the laws of physics and that is NOT humanly possible.
Next, Scarlett makes all the bachelors participate in a variety show with the Muppets, and all I have to say, Kermit and Miss Piggy, you are dead to me:
When the Muppets sell out, the world has gone to hell in a hand basket.
Stay tuned to the next episode, where Scarlett is paired with Wile E. Coyote and other members of the Looney Tunes line-up.
Is it too much to hope an anvil falls on that lunkhead DJ Stevie?