This week, it came to Meg’s attention that brides to be have gone off the deep end. You know how everyone wants to lose a little weight before a wedding?
And right, even if you aren’t the bride, the bridesmaids, the parents, and the entire wedding party wants to lose weight, because who’s wants a professional photographer snapping away, taking crappy shots of you doing the chicken dance?
So this week, the New York Times featured the newest trend in bridal insanity:
You might think this is a seriously ill young lady, and you’d be half mostly right. She’s a bride that’s dissatisfied with her current dress size, and to combat her perceived weight issue, she’s decided to hook herself up to a FEEDING TUBE. The tube delivers 800 calories a day, ensuring the bride starves herself into the false size 8 she thinks she is. It also decidedly ensures some doctor who took a Hippocratic Oath, should have thought twice about attending medical school, and should be the star of a richly deserved commercial for car accidents and whiplash.
Meg remembers being a bride, and picking a dress she thought was fashionable and comfortable. There was no Vera Wang then, no Kleinfeld’s. It was just a regular bridal shop, not a multimedia experience. She mentally fast forwarded to the show “Say Yes To The Dress”, and was astounded at the people on the show that:
a. Insisted on wearing strapless dresses when they didn’t have the figure for it:
It’s just not the best look….
Or picked dresses that should be best thought of as a fantasy outfit for a “What Stays in Vegas” ceremony:
Umm, isn’t that the ho-bag label?
Meg saw an actual show one day on TLC, where the bride picked out a dress that had a shirred, bias bodice. Which meant all the materials were draped sideways and sewn intricately, with a straight strapless neckline. The bride to be stood in mirror wailing inconsolably, saying, I WANTED A SWEETHEART NECKLINE.
She cried and sobbed and carried on, and yet, she PICKED OUT AND BOUGHT THIS DRESS knowing it didn’t have those features. The seamstress, to her credit, managed to craft this idiot’s dress to turn out semi-sweetheart, and Meg’s favorite part was then she walked down the aisle withe the dress of her dreams, the audience could see nothing but her bathing suit tan lines. Right. After all that, she walked down the aisle, and the only neckline you could see was the one from the halter strap bathing suit.
In fact, it looked much like this:
Meg almost thought these chicks from the Gypsy wedding show looked better:
And honestly, doesn’t the guy you are marrying already like you the way you are? Yeesh.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
OMG! I read that article, too, about the feeding tube. Unfreekingbelievable! I am shocked that any doctor would allow something like that. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Don’t get me started.
I am so with you on all the wedding dress stuff, too. My daughter is in the process now of picking out her dress for her Vegas wedding. She started off wanting something short and not showy at all. Now she has decided floor length, but no train. And still not showy (thank gawd) So far, her style has been classy. Which is good, because I would not hesitate to tell her if it wasn’t.
Dawn in DC´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday…
Yeah well, with Sheldon getting hitched now I will be trapped at the salon before I know it…….
Mrs. Tuna´s last [type] ..The Hot Chick
I don’t understand strpless anything, all that tugging and hiking and fiddling, wear some thing that doesn’t wear you.
Even if I HAD been able to land a husband, I always planned on eloping. No fou fou dress for me. Or husband, apparently.
The Zadge´s last [type] ..Wherein a scientific study shows that extreme sleepiness causes one to speak in an awful Southern tongue.
WHAT????! I went to Weight Watcher’s and ate cottage cheese every day and I could have had a feeding tube?
Why doesn’t anyone tell these brides they look like a skank on their wedding day?
Little Miss Sunshine State´s last [type] ..Perfect Beach Day
I now realize how lucky I am to have married a guy who loves me and thinks I look hot no matter what. Even when I was twenty pounds heavier than I am now on my wedding day. We had the best time.
My grandma and I sewed my dress AND veil AND petticoat together. I will never forget those two weeks I spent with her in Oklahoma. And she was eighty years old when we made that sucker. It was simple. And gorgeous.
Her Ace in the Hole´s last [type] ..we’re mysterious like that
My first thought when seeing the girl with the feeding tube (my first thought, not the only one) is that the doctor that hooked that up should go to jail. Allie
Allie´s last [type] ..Do You Love Me, More?
David’s Bridal Shoppe was a frightening trip down “clip me into it with laundry pins” lane for Little Cuter and me. Tugging and pulling and sweating…. ugh. J Crew was elegant and formal and not fussy…. and the price was within reason (she really can wear it again so we swallowed hard and bought it).
Strapless works if it is tailored to fit – the boning holds the top up if you have the right bra to hold the girls in place. Now, any ideas for the Mother of the Bride????
a/b
Ashleigh Burroughs´s last [type] ..Random Thoughts, Cranky Edition
Not to date myself, but when I got married (at a very young age btw, makes me cringe when I think about it because I was so, so young – at yet I’m still happily married to the same man). Where was I again?
Oh yeah, when I got married headband veils were in fashion (GASP….NO. YES, yes they were. And, ssshhh, I wore one…)
francerants´s last [type] ..Just Give Me My Damn Coffee Already