Prep Work.

by meg on March 6, 2012

Are you a prepper? Do you have your mise en place all chopped and ready to go when you cook? Is your luggage waiting by the door the night before when you are heading out for a big trip? Are your clothes neatly lined up in your closet, pressed and ready to jump into?

Meg is affirmative on all of the above; she considers herself organized and on top of her game. She loathes people that are habitually late, people that go a new city and are all like “I don’t know where to go and what to do” (how is that even possible with the internet?). She also hates people that are creepily stocked up.

She also hates people that are creepily stocked up. And there’s a name for those folks – they are called preppers.

If you head over to their website, you can get an overview of the “prepper” paths and credos, and even shop in their prep store:

They proudly claim that the instant milk has a 25 year shelf life, but Meg would like to point out that wine has a great shelf life as well. Just sayin’.

Meg saw this prepper featured over on the Today Show as well as the Daily Beast:

Did you check out the amount of SPAM that woman had on her shelf? I guarantee she’s trying to kill her family if she’s stockpiling that crap. And wouldn’t the amount of sodium in the canned soup and vegetables guarantee bloat beyond comprehension? Meg does happen to have soup in her pantry, it’s two cans of Progresso Healthy choice in case she gets so sick she can’t make her own.

This Survival Mom also takes things a step further, by scheduling regular target practice at the local shooting range with her kids:

My kids know all about gun safety, so what I did was to sit down with them and explain how important it was for them to be out of the line of fire if an armed and dangerous person is ever in or near our home. Here’s what they are to do: drop to the ground immediately and without question. To rehearse this, on occasion I’ll yell, “Kids! Drop to the floor!” or just, “Kids! Drop!” Then, I check to make sure that wherever they are, they’ve dropped! I know, I know. It might sound crazy, but what’s crazier?

Meg is trying to picture screaming at her husband to drop to the ground while she wields a can of hairspray, which she personally thinks is one of the most dangerous weapons ever. And she’s not sure what natural disaster might occur in these parts, but this is the only thing Meg stockpiles when they are on sale:

She’s guaranteed to have San Marzano tomatoes to wield as both a weapon and nourishment, should the sky fall down.

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