Despite being married 25 years, Meg is not a fan of Valentine’s Day. It’s overblown, overly dramatic and a complete ripoff. She usually cooks a nice dinner and then the couple exchanges a cute card. Occasionally a nice bouquet of flowers might show up, but all Meg needs is a bouquet of cheerful tulips. Seriously, that will do the trick for her:
See? Doesn’t that brighten your day?
Meg was going over some lists of things that women allegedly might like for Valentine’s Day, and she’d like to share of these ideas with you:
Number 1.
Umm, no. The only word I can picture related to this activity is STOP. The next would be BLEACH, for all the ground in chocoolate you’d be removing from your nice Egyptian Cotton sheets.
Number 2:
Cook her a special meal!
Unless you are a trained chef, this would not be a great option. Meg’s husband, for the record, knows his way around a gas grill, but that’s it.
Number 3:
Serve her breakfast in bed!
See number 1 for associated issues with this.
Number 4:
Take her shopping.
Sweet Baby Jesus of Bethlehem, NO! Meg is imagining a nice trip to Nordstrom’s where she browses the SALE racks, then wanders over to the shoe department. She them meanders over to cosmetics and tries a bunch of lip glosses, creams and eye pencils. She spritzes on a fresh new scent, and then she ends up trying on some discounted high end costume jewelry. She purchases a great necklace, and as a bonus, she bops over to the David Yurman counter where the nice lady lets her try on rings and bracelets. She ends her trip at Blue Stove on the second floor, with a nice glass of wine and some grilled sea bass.
Can you picture any husband in their right mind interfering with this afternoon?
Number 5:
Get her name tattooed on your ___.
We all know how that worked out for Angelina Jolie. Does anyone know what Billy Bob Forever looks like now?
For the record, Meg and her husband are attending a hockey game, in which she”ll be sitting in prime club seats, with a dedicated waitperson bringing her vodka and sodas. She’ll cheer, she’ll high five, and exit the Boston Garden a winner.
And that’s all the romance a guy needs, a wife who attends a sports event and thinks it’s romantic.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
You can imagine how this Spinster feels about V-Day.
The Zadge´s last [type] ..In case you ever wondered, god forbid, what it was like to be inside the Zadge’s brain as she watched the Grammy’s
I told Mr Sunshine that he is FORBIDDEN from spending money on flowers and a card. He asked what I really wanted and said “just throw me some cash for a manicure.” He threw me a twenty and I’m a happy woman!
Little Miss Sunshine State´s last [type] ..Interview With A NEW Cat!
Our only observance of Valentine’s Day is when the husband presents me with a small box of dark chocolates and I eat them.
We are not big on Valentine’s Day, either, but we do exchange cards. I never miss an opportunity to tell my husband how much I love him and the V-day cards say it best.
As for all the rest of the stuff on your list, I am so with you. We stay in on the holiday because love-smitten young couples drunk on overpriced Champange dinners are no fun on the roads, or in a movie theater.
Dawn in DC´s last [type] ..Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart…
I make my beloved spaghetti for dinner, I don’t care for spaghetti so it truly is a dinner of love.
linlah´s last [type] ..note to self
paint my body? hell no. now if you can airbrush and photoshop me that’s another story.
and shopping is mine all mine. pure self indulgence. it’s just better that way.
pattypunker´s last [type] ..double whoa!
I gave myself a card – it said “Happy V-day you stupid bitch!” – and I laughed at it too!