I Can’t Help Myself Friday. The Gas Edition.

Good grief, gas has gone up every day for the past month! It’s enough to make me channel Nancy Sinatra and tell my boots to start walking.

Of course, the gas at the pumps isn’t the only gas that’s floating around the atmosphere these days. Let’s take a look at this week’s candidates, shall we?

“Today I’m very proud of myself because I’ve accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish. He should have done it a long time ago. Why he didn’t do it when the Clintons asked for it, why he didn’t do it when everybody else was asking for it, I don’t know.”

Donald Trump has to qualify as the biggest a**hat and windbag I know. Donald, in your lingo, you have much much less hair than you realize. It’s incredible how it’s swirled around that rotund head of yours, and it must take an extraordinary amount of money to keep round’ the clock hair spray spritzers to trail in your wake. I can imagine they are only surpassed by the vast number of personal b*ll washers that have to attend to you.

Dear Meatloaf, can you shove him under the dashboard lights? Should we see what Jimmy Kimmel uncovered during his birth certificate investigation?

Steve Carrell channels bumbling Dunder-Mifflin supervisor Michael Scott to perfection. His send-up certainly sent me heading for the Rolaids more than once, as he eerily reminded me of a boss that did nothing more than walk around with a cup of coffee and read the New York Times. Here’s Michael Scott reneging on his promise to pay college tutition for these young students:

Meg is pondering a Pimm’s cup this morning while she is watching the royal wedding. She LOVED Kate Middleton’s dress; so elegant and striking. Meg loves nothing more than a bride who is actually CLOTHED while heading up the aisle to the altar. Her lovely sister Pippa looked stunning in a white cowl necked number, deftly helping her sister with her train.

However, those poor girls of Fergie’s are giving Meg’s stomach fits with these matronly dresses and scary hats!

Let’s end with a little Jon Stewart, who is always sure to soothe an upset stomach:

Relax, kick back and enjoy a nice spring weekend. I’m going to stay home and skip filling up at the pump, and mix myself a nice soothing cocktail!



I Have An App For That

Last year, Meg pondered the use of social networking and how it might work with the sacrament of confession, and she even ruminated on how we could Facebook friend our priest or maybe get our penance via the iPhone.

Well it turns out I was a little ahead of the curve (oh, no need to thank me, Apple!) and there is an iPhone app for confession. iCONFESS, anyone? Little iApps is a website that develops apps with what they call “a Catholic twist”. Does that twist mean guilt?

Designed to be used in the confessional, this app is the perfect aid for every penitent. With a personalized examination of conscience for each user, password protected profiles, and a step-by-step guide to the sacrament, this app invites Catholics to prayerfully prepare for and participate in the Rite of Penance.

The website even has a little Q&A that answers questions like:

IS IT APPROPRIATE TO TAKE YOUR IPHONE/IPAD/IPOD TOUCH INTO THE CONFESSIONAL?

Yes, provided you do it with a spirit of reverence for the sacrament. Many of our users have found the Sacrament of Confession easier when they use the app during confession – the app has been designed as an aide to your confession, like a journal or prayer card.

Here is my question:

WHAT IF YOU ARE OVERCOME WITH THE TEMPTATION TO PLAY ANGRY BIRDS IN THE CONFESSIONAL?

Although we frown on game playing within the claustrophobic confines of the confessional, we will just consider that an extra Hail Mary tacked on to that day’s penance.

See, this is the reason Meg does not have a smart phone. She is certain the smart phone would outsmart her at all times, leaving her in it’s dust on a daily basis.

And I don’t need an app for guilt, I can track that on my own, thanks!


Thursday Potpourri

Meg is slumped over her keyboard this morning trying to get her brain synapses to fire and string together some logical thoughts. The family was out past midnight last night attending a Neil Young concert in Boston; he is one of her husband’s favorite singers so he scored some extra nice tickets in the orchestra section.

Meg was pleasantly surprised at the quality and depth of Neil Young’s music; there have been times where Neil sounds a little Dylanesque and to Meg that is the equivalent of blowing a dog whistle where it means SHE is the one that can hear it. You get that, right?

Anyway, it was just Neil and all of his guitars and a few pianos. His voice was exactly as you hear it on the radio or your Ipod; no large band and backup singers; just him. Meg especially loved it when he transported her back to 6th grade and she could totally imagine herself being that Cinnamon Girl.

Meg only peeve of the concert is hats. WTF do so many men wear baseball caps inside a building so they can block your sight line? If anyone can explain that phenomenon, let me know.

Here is the latest website Meg (tweeted by Lin!) has become addicted to:

Hurry over and start laughing.

You all know my penchant for making the Family Circus a little edgy and making Billy look like the little thug he is. Here’s a riff on Winnie the Pooh I thought you would enjoy:

I’m not sure who to credit for this, but I like their style!


The Blogger Entrepreneur?

Meg was reading an article about some students participating in the Emerson College E3 program (Emerson Experience in Entrepreneurship) where they study business and then vie for capital to start various small companies. A lot of the ideas are typical, like peddling t-shirts and sneakers with university logos. But the 21st century twist is that it’s done using a mobile store, which will roam to concerts, the beach, or wherever students hang in the summer months. Sounds good to me!

Another idea that Meg thought was a little more daring was the young lady starting a pole dancing studio. According to it’s owner, Julia Kurz, the studio will not only provide exercise, but enpowerment to women as old as 65.

Actually, I’m sure she is an innovative young lady. Meg thinks she could sweat pounds off just thinking about being seen in a spandex getup and platform shoes spinning around a pole.

Good luck kids, I can’t wait to read about you!

Meg thinks the 21 year old mind is daring and innovative, but does it have the wisdom and seasoning of say, one middle-aged blogger and her equally wise fan base? So here’s the deal, I think we could form an LLC called Blogger’s Experience in Entrepreneurship or the BEE’s. God knows we all have boat loads of experience, but how do we channel our passion and make money?

So the Zadge and her sister could share all of Moomsker’s great recipes and start their own Food Truck, and travel to all the cool places and they could blog about it, too! In the same food category, Susan could bake biscotti and Dawn would be in charge of appetizers, and in case you don’t know it, she can make a scary Halloween ghoul out of lunch meat and cheese. And Mrs. Tuna isn’t just about tuna, she will set you straight on what to cook tonight. Need to watch your sugar? Go to Little Miss Sunshine State and she’ll get you on track with a recipe.

Of course, Jessica would be in charge of film and that type of thing, because she knows how to make funny videos and could teach us how the heck not to be a fool on camera. Meg would pay for that advice herself; she looks like an idiot every time she is unfortunately caught on film.

Ron and Joann could teach us a thing or two about ducks and wine, which I think is quite a versatile combination in a blogger, don’t you?

MidLife Mama, could you teach any of us to carry a tune? She’s a secret jazz singer in her spare time. And someone needs to expand our horizons about poetry, so I think Cupcake Murphy is the expert in that. Linlah, can you teach us some photography tricks?

Colette, you write for Forbes, maybe you could offer some tips for the BEE’s so we can all channel our blogger dreams? And make money too?

Meg just actually cashed her first BlogHer check, she racked up tens of pennies with all those clicks on her ads! KA-CHING! Clearly she is not a blog entrepreneur, but she does think all of her friends should be in some sort of cool web portal where they secretly make money and live out their fantasies.

I can’t wait to read about THAT!


I Can’t Help Myself Friday. Just for Fun.

Usually Meg tries to whip up a little theme for her Friday blog, but her allergies so have her wandering around the poppy fields like Dorothy she can’t think straight. Even though she is sitting here honking like Felix Unger, she stills feels compelled her entertain to her modest set of readers and leave them with a laugh or two. Here goes:

Meg is still tinkering with Twitter and does find some entertaining people to read. It’s sort of like eavesdropping on the popular group in junior high school, and somewhat intriguing:

Don’t blame me if you get caught up in spying on Twitter.

I found a site that can generate tweets based on the content of your Twitter feed, which I kind of like, because if you *are* feeling like crap, it really conserves a lot of brain cells and energy:

I would say that tweet is spot on, my work is done!

Is anyone else sick of the royal wedding coverage? The Today Show just announced it will be live in London starting an entire week before the wedding. Can anyone stand Meredith Vieira for that amount of time blithering about nothing? At least entertain yourselves with this little video sendup from a Scottish a cappella group called The Other Guys:

It’s clear this man is not going away any time soon:

The New York Post does a good job making him look like the clown that he is, but Wonkette solves the mystery of his hair with this revealing photo:

Tattooed hair, that makes sense.

Jimmy Kimmel knows how the Donald would tie in real world news with reality TV to deliver the hard hitting and breaking news:

Let’s end with John Stewart, who describes alleged Presidential candidate as a “professional megalomaniac”!

Meg’s drink today might be the medicinal hot toddy before bed, but go ahead, you guys enjoy a real drink and have a great weekend!