Good grief, gas has gone up every day for the past month! It’s enough to make me channel Nancy Sinatra and tell my boots to start walking.
Of course, the gas at the pumps isn’t the only gas that’s floating around the atmosphere these days. Let’s take a look at this week’s candidates, shall we?
“Today I’m very proud of myself because I’ve accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish. He should have done it a long time ago. Why he didn’t do it when the Clintons asked for it, why he didn’t do it when everybody else was asking for it, I don’t know.”
Donald Trump has to qualify as the biggest a**hat and windbag I know. Donald, in your lingo, you have much much less hair than you realize. It’s incredible how it’s swirled around that rotund head of yours, and it must take an extraordinary amount of money to keep round’ the clock hair spray spritzers to trail in your wake. I can imagine they are only surpassed by the vast number of personal b*ll washers that have to attend to you.
Dear Meatloaf, can you shove him under the dashboard lights? Should we see what Jimmy Kimmel uncovered during his birth certificate investigation?
Steve Carrell channels bumbling Dunder-Mifflin supervisor Michael Scott to perfection. His send-up certainly sent me heading for the Rolaids more than once, as he eerily reminded me of a boss that did nothing more than walk around with a cup of coffee and read the New York Times. Here’s Michael Scott reneging on his promise to pay college tutition for these young students:
Meg is pondering a Pimm’s cup this morning while she is watching the royal wedding. She LOVED Kate Middleton’s dress; so elegant and striking. Meg loves nothing more than a bride who is actually CLOTHED while heading up the aisle to the altar. Her lovely sister Pippa looked stunning in a white cowl necked number, deftly helping her sister with her train.
However, those poor girls of Fergie’s are giving Meg’s stomach fits with these matronly dresses and scary hats!
Let’s end with a little Jon Stewart, who is always sure to soothe an upset stomach:
Relax, kick back and enjoy a nice spring weekend. I’m going to stay home and skip filling up at the pump, and mix myself a nice soothing cocktail!