I usually avoid shopping venues on President’s Day, because it generally collides with school vacation week, and crazed people people bring their offspring to the mall to run wild. And even more crazed people buy resort wear that doesn’t fit them, because they are on their way to Florida to escape the 6 feet of snow that has been unceremoniously dumped on us this season. I hate being in dressing rooms when stuff like that happens.
So imagine Meg’s surprise when her husband casually said “would you like to go shopping?” “Umm, what kind of shopping? You hate shopping.” Well, he said “I was thinking we should replace that leather chair that’s falling apart and the sleep sofa, too. So, like furniture shopping.”
OK, how long do you think it took Meg to get ready for that expedition?
a. 10 minutes to finish hair and makeup.
b. one half hour so she could finish her holiday Bloody Mary.
c. an hour because she needed to shower.
d. 90 seconds.
You are correct if you said 90 seconds. No one, I repeat no one, was faster than me to don a coat and gather a handbag as I was yesterday.
I could already feel the interior design juices start to flow as I strolled through Bean Town and the trapeze school (see Jordan’s furniture) to get to the escalator that led to the treasure. The first item was the chair. The rule was, no chairs with side handles, levers, pulleys or winches to get the chair into a reclining position. I would think in this era, technology would have made it possible to conceal such things, but apparently a large sub-section of men in America love themselves a big old handle on the side of their chairs. Or a motor. Yes, there was a whole section of chairs with remotes and men just reclining back and forth, back and forth. We sprinted past that section.
Our agreeable and low key salesperson showed us the perfect chair, and it was green lighted quickly. It was sleek, it reclined without any gear, and it was appropriate size. And off Meg’s husband went, while she got to play with fabric. Squeal! Meg picked a flawless microfiber fabric, which almost looked a little like bark; the texture and organic look had her swooning. The salesperson said “do you want to run it by him?” No, I assure you, he will be fine with whatever I want. As we headed over to sofa land, we spotted him and she was all like, “do you like this material?” Leo: “whatever she says“. Is that music to a woman’s ear or what?
The sofa transaction went just as smoothly, with more material choices, and again, the consummate combination was found. In less than a hour, the whole process was done and over. Meg was both elated and deflated, because although she found great bargains, she still had a shopping fest inside of her. She spied a really cool rug on way out and started waving – “look at this, it’s perfect, honey!”
But that was it, her husband was spent. He did tell her to head on back one day by herself and look at rugs to her heart’s content, though.
And that, my friends is how you turn a simple shopping suggestion into an afternoon of redecorating your house. Always be ready to sprint to your car!