Please line up in an orderly fashion and take a number.
Because you are like the 100th person this week to ask me for a little “advice”, also known as “free work”.
This must happen in a million professions. People ask the doctor, “gee, I’ve got this pain on my left side”. They ask the shrink, “gosh, I don’t know whether my kid is anti-social or just a teenager”? And they ask me, the web and graphic gal, any number of things:
Hey, can you spruce up my website? By that, I mean design original and expensive art?
Hey, can you update all the broken links on my site and upload it again? Really, you don’t want to give me a list, you’d like me to track that crap down like a scavenger hunt?
Hey, can you post a blurb to my site? Don’t worry, whatever copy you come up with will be fine!
I especially hate when people ask me a one favor, and then throw in an extensive list of “other” things. And in the case of this past weekend, they send a laundry list first thing on Sunday morning. And give me a deadline. On my quiet day. The day I really like to think about nothing, except reading my Sunday paper and gearing up for a noontime Bloody Mary.
The good part of this is, that Meg is now officially a BIG GIRL. And by that, I mean I’m fully in the second half of my life, and I don’t really feel the need to take on tasks I don’t want to, and feel guilty about it.
Gosh, I’m sorry, I am unable to help you with that. I don’t have time.
It took a long freaking time to let those words pass my lips. But let me tell you something younger ladies, you have a lot to look forward to when you are my age.
What you lose in flexibility and add in weight, you gain in wisdom.
Now serving…. number one. That would be me.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I have a Dilbert, Now Serving Crisis Number, Take A Number thing at my desk. The #1 tag on it reads, “Don’t kid yourself, this is NOT your lucky number.”
Glad you finally realized it’s OK to say, “No.” It took me a long time, too. It’s still a struggle at times.
I was going to congratulate you on being a Big Girl Now, but decided it was more important to cheer on the noontime Bloody Mary!
Ah yes – free advice! You know how that has worked out at this end! Why is it people don’t get it? I would not call up my electrician friend and expect him to do “free” work – nor would I call up my plumber friend and expect him to work for nothing – why is it computer professionals are always being harrassed by their friends for stuff? I guess you have to not dress professional or have plumbers crack to get paid!
Hey Dawn’s Dad!
I’ve got that sassy Dogbert as a mascot on my desk. Gotta have some attitude sitting next to the laptop.
What is up with some people who inhabit the same planet as the rest of us who would be so embarrassed to expect others to do our work and for nothing. Glad to see you’re learning it is not wrong to say “no” I cannot oblige your request….I’m still learning. Those of us who have a modicum of common sense well know enough not to ask these “favors” of others…..and manage to conduct business without involving the world.
You got it so right, sister! And, yes, retired talk therapists get to hear every awful family story whether we want to or not. Thank heaven I didn’t train for proctology! My favorite phrase in the “No” department is, “That won’t work for me.” I also like, “You’re kidding, right? Right?”
Kudos to you for finding your NO! I think as women we are too often told we won’t be liked if we are negative or stand up for ourselves. Be strong!
After a quarter cen. x2 +, you do indeed get to say no to most of what you don’t want to do. And it get easier. I love that part.
Love the bibs in your pix.
I have just settled into my middle age, noontime drinks on Sunday and my NO. Especially to my kids who are all in their 20s. Time for them to step up. I sure am enjoying my lower stress level.