Fantasy Husbands

Do you have a dream husband?

I’m not talking real life spouses or partners here. I’m talking the kind of husband that pops up on the the radar when the spirit moves you. Say you watch a movie or a football game. The handsome star may take on a new light, in which you say something like:

“And then my husband Tom Brady threw a pass down the field”!

When the Patriot’s lost their playoff game a few weeks ago, Ain’t Miss Beehavin and I were like:

and then BOSSY said:

Our friend Bossy has actually had many husbands scattered throughout the course of her blog career, chief being John Cusack, although, Robert Downey Jr., in his older and more sober persona has merited recent consideration.

Some are lucky enough to spend time with their dream husbands, like my friend Sheila. (not a blogger, but she seriously should be she’s so funny!) She is hanging here with her husband, Denzel Washington:

I think everyone needs a fantasy husband. Or three. Here are my top picks, sorted by category. For the next few weeks anyway.

Fashion and shopping husband:

Hey, no one said the husband couldn’t be gay!!! Clinton Kelly from What Not to Wear would make the most fabulous shopping and fashion consulting husband. Saks and lunch, Clinton?

Cooking in the kitchen with:

Ladies, I give you T.R. Pescod. He’s a top model, but is also seen on the Barefoot Contessa as a right hand man in Ina’s kitchen. I need a fresh baguette, T.R., stat!

Here’s a husband to just relax with:.

And Liam Neeson makes the perfect trifecta.

Do tell, who are your fantasy husbands?

It’s Never Too Late to Learn Something New….

When I get my daily paper, the Boston Globe, I start off with the front section which is called “Nation“. (aka, the bad and depressing news portion, and OMG when’s the last time you saw anything uplifting THERE?)

So, I dutifully peruse the news on the economy, Haiti, and healthcare. I stop and think about a shot of Bailey’s in my morning java, and then flip toward the editorial pages. I come to a screeching halt and look at this:

Oh hello sex video ad, fancy meeting you here! Two free videos you say? And 26 amazing techniques with real people demonstrating??? 50% off if I get 4!

Now, I’m not an uptight person, but I didn’t think the ad belonged in the newspaper. Especially one that advertises the fact that if you donate the cost of your vacation paper, it will help fund it’s Newspapers in Education program.

Well kids, this morning you got an education, but probably not the kind your parents wanted. But in the corner of the ad, it does say Warning: Highly Explicit. For adults 18 and over. Thank goodness they’re looking out for you!

Order has been restored….

Order has been restored to my house, thank God, as I am cooking for company tonight. So instead of “I Can’t Help Myself Friday”, I’ve been making Coquilles St Jacques and scalloped potatoes. And having glass of wine in between. Cooks deserve that.

May calm and order rule your life this weekend! Back on track next week.

Truth in Feng Shui

So, I have all this stuff rolling around in my head this week, and I can’t get a grip because the feng shui of my house is seriously thrown off.

Allegedly feng shui is the Chinese art of arranging a room in a tranquil way. Furniture and objects are placed deliberately to bring harmony, that “will allow you to sustain the desired quality of life in a more effortless, more gracious way.”

Supposedly productivity levels are high with the right balance of feng shui. If your home is not organized correctly, the furniture can block such things as sleep (!), energy (!!!) and marital harmony (!&#@!!!!)

The good news is that yellow, the color of my room, symbolizes longevity and peace. The bad news is this damn scaffolding is blocking the flow of money, as I can’t get to my garage to leave and spend any.

Here’s to improved harmony the free flow of thought, and a house that doesn’t smell like latex ceiling paint!

Artistic Inspiration

This past weekend, Leo and I attended a WISH party. Leo’s co-worker Jerry is married to the lovely Ania, who was inspired to throw an after holiday party to pick people’s spirits up and get the New Year on track.

Ania had this up on her wall in the form of post-it notes:

Each of the post-it notes contained a wish from an eclectic group of people. Of course, there was Ania the hostess, who has this web site and is an incredibly talented graphic designer and artist:

Ania wants to take her firecracker mother (who made sure I tried all the delectable Polish cuisine) back to Polonia for a visit.

There was Grace, who met Ania in Poland, and had all the women in a photo-op draping their legs over Tom, who is a fragile man with cancer. Tom could not stop smiling.

There was Robert from Ghana, who is a cancer researcher, and has photos of the children he is trying to help in his research lab. Robert knows a cure is a long way in sight, but WISHES he makes progress this year. I made a wish for Robert to take a vacation with his lovely wife Beatrice, as he hadn’t had one in 6 years.

There was Margaret, who used to be a programmer and said enough of that, I want to paint, and she does this now:

And check out Chris’ social networking site, which features really cool people in the arts:

And there was Carolyn, and Stephanie and holy crap, where have you people been all my life and yes thanks, I will have another martini!

It’s rejuvenating for one’s soul to meet so many people from different countries; each of them funny, engaging, smart and talented.

Meg went home in a very good mood, inspired to start her New Year with good WISHES, thanks to a great group of people.

And if my wish comes true, someone will pay me to blog. And if I could figure out why TWO people on the WISH wall wanted nose jobs, I’d really be in business!

I Can’t Help Myself Friday. Yes, it’s still January.

It’s my favorite day! Let’s dive in!

RIP to the creator of Gumby, animator Art Clokey, who died this past week. While I loved my bendable Gumby and his friend Pokey, my real crush were these lovable folks:

Art was also the creator of my favorite Claymation duo, Davey and Goliath. Besides teaching us young ones valuable moral lessons in the sixties, they test drove the first use of Botox as seen on TV.

TV televangelist demagogue Pat Robertson has a really great phone plan. His free anytime minutes and roaming charges allow him personal conversations with Satan, in which Satan reminds Pat that the heartbreaking situation in Haiti is really all their fault.

Oh look Pat, I just texted 90999 and donated 1 million dollars in your name! And don’t look now, but I think I see horns growing out of your head.

The latest celebrity fragrance:

I don’t think much of perfume hawked by any celebrity, or their dumb logo. I remember being asked if I had tried the new Juicy Couture one day. Hello, you mean that logo that stretches across the backside of a sweatsuit? No, no, no, you better back away from me now lady, or I will douse you in retaliation with the new Paris Hilton.

And Kim, back away from me, because I imagine I’ll smell like dirty money.

Have a great weekend people!